Welcome to day 20 of my experiment: Going through the Valley of Despair.

Here are four lessons that solidified in me this year:

1. The greatest motivating force in my life has always been death. I think about it often – to the point of having “Memento Mori” tattooed on my right wrist –and this year, that awareness shifted from something abstract to something that genuinely guided concrete decisions. I took seriously the urgency of prioritizing my time and my life, and began asking myself more honestly how I want to live, what I want to experience, be, give, and leave behind. It became a real necessity – urgent and crucial.

2. Having clarity about what I want always seemed desirable to me, but this year I realized how overrated that idea can be. I don’t always know exactly where I’m going – and that’s okay. What began to guide me was not a fixed plan or specific goals, but an awareness of how I want to feel. I don’t have control over how things will unfold, and accepting that lifted a great deal of weight from my decisions. Many times, I moved forward without full clarity, guided only by the intention to cultivate a certain inner state. I acted even without knowing, and it was through movement that the path began to reveal itself and the answers started to appear. I let go of the outcome to find more intention in the process.

3. Throughout this year, I began to protect, value, and prioritize my mental health, self-esteem, and stress levels with much greater seriousness. I learned to care for myself as one would care for someone they love – being, when necessary, a good mother to myself. I asked for help. I spoke out loud to myself. I started treating myself with the same loyalty, patience, and respect I offer the people closest to me. I trusted my higher self more and learned to allow myself to be helped by it.

4. I did my best to direct my attention toward what truly matters – what is productive, within my reach, and genuinely good for me. Toward solutions and what I already have, rather than what is missing. Persisting in the opposite, in practice, meant reaffirming a narrative of total powerlessness. Focusing on the problem and on lack only reinforces the belief that this is my reality and that I can do nothing to change it.

I could list many other lessons, but I chose to share only those that were most meaningful to me. 2025 marked the beginning of a new phase. I’m curious to learn the lessons that 2026 will teach and to experience the joys and accomplishments that the coming year holds – especially to meet the person I will be in December 2026.

Tchau for now,