One day I opened my e-mail and there was an e-mail from Linked In with various articles written by users. There are plenty of inspiring and informative texts, so I opened it to read Matheus de Souza’s text entitled: 28 things about life I wish I’d learned 10 years ago. As the title says, Matheus provides a list of 28 lessons.

I call these moments signs from the Universe, because a few days earlier I had made my list and thought that maybe I could do a post talking about my list, but I was in doubt because I thought it was something a bit personal to post. But the Universe told me through Matheus’ words that yes, it would be a good idea to share this. So here I am. Once again.

Matheus begins the text by saying that he’s happy to be getting older because today he feels that he finally has more control over his life. And I feel the same way. Many people say that growing up isn’t very nice, because you have more responsibilities, bills to pay, commitments to fulfill, etc. But for me and my friend Matheus, it’s been more liberating than anything else.

I also feel that I have more control over my life and I know that I am 100% responsible for the way I want to see what happens in it. No wonder wisdom comes with age. And that’s why getting older can be so enjoyable, because as time goes by more and more lessons are learned, you get to know yourself better and discover what’s really important in your life.

I made a list that I called “My Reminders”, like Matheus’. My list only contains things that are not yet ingrained in me, that is, I still insist on forgetting more than other things, hence the name… I try to read it a few times during the week. So here’s my list:

      1. Everything is relative and nothing is absolute.

That’s an important lesson for me. Never be too radical, in any respect. Even be suspicious of yourself. Life is made up of contradictions and one of them is this: sometimes you need to hold on to something, other times you need to let go, the point is to know how and when to do it.

      2. Act with love and passion

Yes, when you put the energy of love and all your attention into things, everything turns out differently! The hard part is doing it every day, every hour.

      3. Live with purpose, even if sometimes you want to change it

The fuel of life is purpose. It’s the why, the reason, the cause, the intention, the foundation of things. If you lose that. You’re aimless. And if you’re aimless, you lose yourself and if you lose yourself, you have two choices: find yourself again and find a new purpose or lose yourself for good. And it’s okay to get lost from time to time, the important thing is always to find your purpose at that moment.

      4. Always start again

Ahhh this is almost an absolute rule (but no! reminder n. 1), we give up so easily, don’t we? But it’s okay to give up too, because if you start again and again, you’re not actually giving up, you’re starting from a new beginning…

      5. Relax and enjoy

We’re just passing through and everyone has their issues, no matter where they were born or how much money they have. Life is wonderful. We have to learn to laugh at ourselves and always carry the child we are inside us. Relax and enjoy all your moments, whether good or bad.

    6. Don’t try to guess what people think of you, what they think is their business

This is very difficult, not just for me, I imagine, but for everyone. Guessing complicates my life, your life. Don’t try to guess for a second what sicrano and so-and-so are thinking about you. It’s not worth it and you’ll never be who you really are. Because we see others and the world as we are, so don’t waste another second worrying about it.

      7. It all depends on how I see the circumstances

I need to remind myself of this every second of the day! It all depends on how I want to see the situation. And I have the power of choice there. If I’m dramatic that day, the world and people will be dramatic; if I’m optimistic and happy, I won’t see any obstacles in front of me. So, even on those not-so-good days, inside I have to remind myself of this and then start to see that nothing is as bad as it seems.

      8. Trust in the Universe

Trust… we receive signs all the time, we just have to be open to seeing them. The streets, the places you pass, the people you talk to, the dreams you have, the sensations you feel, the desires you have, the visions from your meditation, the phone calls you receive, everything simply talks to you. The Universe/God talks to us all the time. Pay attention to the signs, if you’re looking for an answer, you’ll find it. What you are looking for is looking for you. Trust.

     9. Life is made up of trade-off at all times

All the time we are choosing what to do and what not to do. Our lives are made up of the choices we make. And these choices mean giving up many others. I call this “The Nostalgia of What Would Be”, what would be if… it’s very dangerous. That’s why we have to learn to make choices that will build the life we want to have, because the taste of regret at not having made them, above all, is very bitter.

      10. It’s impossible to have harmony in all aspects of our lives at the same time

Yes, it’s impossible! We can achieve almost harmony, perhaps, but as my friend Ju Infurna told me, when life reaches equilibrium it’s because there is no more life. So relax… because there will always be something to work on. And that’s great, because that’s how we grow and evolve! It would be very boring if we were good at everything, wouldn’t it?

     11. Don’t spend more than 5 minutes thinking about something that won’t make any difference to your life in 5 years.

Don’t waste time and energy thinking about something that won’t make any difference in 5 years. I have to remind myself of that every day too! What a girl who likes to dwell on corridor conversations, hahaha. Calm down, Cha! The world flushes every 100 years and everyone who was alive dies, and new people and ideas simply emerge, so don’t freak out.

      12. Perfect is done to the end

There is no such thing as perfection. Perfect is something done to the end. That’s a lot for perfectionists like me. I’ll explain it to you. Sometimes I imagine something so perfect that I don’t even start because it’s too much work, but deep down it’s the famous proscrastination, you know? So thinking about it helps me a lot. It’s better to do than not to do. Perfection lies in doing from start to finish and in the feeling of having accomplished the task.

      13. What matters is how I feel at the end of the day

How often do we neglect our feelings in order to pretend to others to be something other than what we feel, for whatever reason. This has a lot to do with being yourself and emotional intelligence too. Although emotions and feelings are different things, they are directly related to each other. Learning to deal with them is self-knowledge, it’s difficult, it can be painful, but it’s very worthwhile.

      14. In every situation I have the power to make a new story

The water that flows in a river is never the same. It’s the same for life. Sometimes we find ourselves stuck in vicious cycles, in situations that seem to haunt us, but believe me, you and only you have the pen in your hand to write something different for your story. We always hold our own pen. We have the power to change no matter what is happening in our lives and no matter for how long. The point is: you need to be aware of it.

      15. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, flowers don’t compare themselves to each other

Don’t compare yourself. That’s one of the biggest injustices you can do to yourself. Each person has a story and only they know what they carry within them, just as only you know about yours. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, believe me, even the people you admire the most. Learn what your strengths are and use them to your advantage.

      16. Each person who enters your energy field brings with them a story with many challenges

You know those situations where you catch someone in a bad mood, or you always see a grumpy person in your life and you always judge them as a bitter person. Then stop! Stop judging, because you don’t know what happened, what happens in people’s lives. I could say that it doesn’t matter how bad your day, or even your whole life, is and you should keep smiling, but it doesn’t always work like that. There are people who manage to keep smiling and that’s very admirable, but let’s not judge those who don’t, there are many more reasons we don’t know about.

      17. Stop thinking only about your problems, that’s the biggest form of selfishness

Sometimes I think so hard about my problems that I stop and realize that I’m being very selfish by thinking about them non-stop. It seems like the world revolves around your issues, you know? But it doesn’t! Your problems are nothing. It’s precisely when you stop thinking that you find the solution too. And as a bonus, you discover that you’re stronger than you thought.

      18. Help others, it’s good for you

This is an extension of the previous reminder: when I stop thinking about your problems and start helping people with their problems, I feel great satisfaction.

     19. Trust in your talent for connectivity and keep it in mind at all times, you know that everything is connected and everything will make sense one day

I have a strong sense of connection inside me, but even so when I’m too absorbed in my mind I end up forgetting that. Remembering that everything and everyone is connected and that nothing is by chance, gives me a feeling of tranquillity, that there is so much more to this life that we have no idea how, when and how it works, but there is and that takes the weight of the world off my back.

      20. Life is a projection of who you are

This reminder is connected to reminder 7. It basically means that we create our reality. The world and people are projections of what is inside you. That’s why I believe that there are 7,507,526,000 (and still growing) different worlds. Each person experiences life in a completely different way. Therefore, we are the ones who create the life and the world we want. When I’m not happy with some of the habits I’m having, because they don’t lead me to the life I want to create, I stop and say: Charlotte, it’s time we reviewed this.

     21. Practice self-forgiveness constantly

When I start blaming myself, I have to remember that. Self-forgiveness is an essential tool for those who blame themselves a lot. Forgiveness in general is inevitable when you become aware of everything that happens to you. It’s very difficult to forgive yourself and others, but it’s the most liberating and purifying thing we can do for ourselves.

      22. Once everything you’re going through has passed, the discomfort won’t matter anymore

Yes, when it’s over, it’s over. From little things to major events in our lives. For this reason, living in the present, not dwelling on the past and not looking forward to the future is the best way to live life. Because everything is constantly changing, the water that flows in a river is never the same, remember?

      23. When you’re not good at something, at least be brave

I have to remember the courage I have inside me. I may be afraid, but come on, let’s do it with fear lol. It’s the beginning that’s hard and the unknown that’s crazy. Maybe the second, third, even fourth or fifth time we do something we were terrified of doing, we start to feel more comfortable. We have the incredible power of adaptation and familiarization. So, in the end, what we need is just the courage to do it, and the rest will fall into place…

    24. Always ask yourself: what would the person you want to be do in this situation?

All right, we know we’re not perfect, right? But why not pretend we are? I have my ideals and sometimes I wonder what the person I’d like to be would do in a given situation. What words they would choose to speak. What actions they would take. How she would educate. How they would look after themselves. If it’s good for you, remember to pretend to be that person when you need to, after all, you already are them…

Well, those are my reminders. They’re nothing new, but they’re things that aren’t completely ingrained in my mind. I still need to remember them.

I’ve always collected phrases from well-known people, intellectuals, philosophers, etc. that made sense to me. But I put so many together that I couldn’t remember them one by one to put them into practice, not to mention the fact that I’m a person who needs to conclude, to summarize what has been said so that it’s clear to me. So this list of reminders was a way of condensing what is important to remember constantly in order to put what I believe into practice. I know my list will change, but this is what I have for now!

And if you don’t have your list yet, go to Matheus’ article and read his list too (https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/28-coisas-sobre-vida-que-eu-queria-ter-aprendido-10-anos-de-souza) and don’t forget to make your own! I hope you enjoyed it…

A big kiss!

Best regards and see you next time,

Cha ♥